Of Chippendales and Police Officers
by rikalynch
Summary: It's Halloween, and Jeff is bummed about a break-up. He's dragged to a party, and there's a game of seven minutes in heaven. Jeff gets a sexy Chippendale dancer. Smut ensues. Niff


**hi. smutty oneshot time. okay. here have this. (set during Halloween, btw, but you should be able to figure that one out pretty quickly)**

* * *

"No. Stop. I'm sick of this." Jeff made a grunting noise and looked up at the voice, who was attached to a body that had a hand that was _poking him in the chest. _"Get off your lazy ass. We're going to a party."

"Fuck off, Trent," Jeff sighed dramatically. He rolled over and covered his face with a pillow. "I'm not going to a party."

"You need to get over Kurt dumping you for Blaine." Jeff made a strangled noise in protest, but Trent didn't seem to care, as he just kept on talking. "It's been like four months or something."

"Nine days, six hours, ten minutes and twenty-four seconds."

"Same thing. Jeff, come _on. _You need to get over him, this is pathetic. Let's just go, okay? Kurt isn't going to be at the party, so it's not like you'll run into him there."

"Trent, it's Halloween, I'm not going to a Halloween party. I'm nineteen, not twelve." Despite his protests, he still got out of the bed and stood up. He stretched, and then winced. He hadn't gotten out of bed since Kurt dumped him, thus he hadn't showered. He was thankful for his roommate, or else he wouldn't have eaten for those nine days. "Fine," he sighed. "I don't have a costume."

Trent beamed and pointed to the bag on the floor, next to the bathroom door. "It's your size."

"I hate you," Jeff said, and scooped the bag up. He didn't look inside, deciding he didn't want to know.

After he was showered, he dumped the costume out onto the counter, and he had to bite back a laugh. "Really, Trent? Sexy cop?"

"Embrace the authority!"

Jeff rolled his eyes and stepped into the costume. He twirled the plastic nightstick around before tucking it into the belt, and giggled at the fake gun it came with. "Ooh, handcuffs," he said, and clipped them to the belt. He put the shoes on, and then brushed his hair before placing the cap atop his head. He tied the tie around his neck and stepped out of the bathroom. "I look like an idiot."

"Yes, you do. But you're a sexy idiot. And I'm a pirate. Perfect couple, right?"

"We're not going as a couple."

"I know." Jeff smiled and put his coat on, then pocketed his phone. "I still hate you for this, I hope you know."

"There will be some boys from other schools there. Maybe you can get your game on."

"Right."

The car ride to the party was silent, aside from Trent singing loudly and off-key to the radio. Jeff didn't say a word, just kept checking his phone. When they got there, Trent took his phone from him and threw it into the backseat. "Let's go have some fun."

"My phone," Jeff whined, and lunged for it, but Trent put his meaty hand on Jeff's chest.

"You'll do without."

Jeff scoffed but got out of the car anyways, taking his coat off and leaving it on the seat.

The party was loud, full of teenagers, and, thankfully, alcohol. Jeff was quick to accept a solo cup full of God-knows-what as soon as it was offered to him, and he chugged it down immediately. He wiped his mouth as he hissed from the burn, and Trent just laughed at him. "Good to have you back, buddy."

Jeff lost track of time, and all the events of the party were starting to blur together. He sat against a television stand, sipping a bottle of water, just surveying the party. Suddenly, he felt someone grabbing his hand. He sighed in relief when he saw it was just Trent. He followed his friend into the basement, where he saw an awkward circle of drunk people all talking over each other. He and Trent filled the last two available spaces, and a girl dressed as a bunny drunkenly yelled "Spin the bottle!"

Jeff sat, watching as the bottle in the center spun around, and as couples were locked in the closet for seven minutes each. He swallowed nervously when he saw it was his turn, and surveyed the circle for a few moments. He decided that the only person he really wanted to spend seven minutes in 'Heaven' with would be Trent, despite the fact that that would make things really weird.

He gave the bottle a weak push, and watched as it spun, once, twice, three times. It eventually stopped and landed on the person exactly opposite of him, and he licked his lips. Chippendale dancer. Okay.

He stood up and let the bunny lead the two of them into the closet. He bit his lip as the door was closed. "U-Um… Hi?"

"Hi. Nick."

"J-Jeff."

"Nervous?"

"Very."

"Allow me." And then Jeff could feel warm lips on his and _oh god _he missed this. He wrapped his arms around the boy and parted his lips. He slowly slid his eyes closed, and ran his hands up his sides.

"I like your costume," Jeff whispered lamely, and he heard Nick's low chuckle.

"Wanna arrest me?"

"They're plastic."

"Oh…"

"Sorry. You taste good."

"Yeah? So do you. You taste like peppermint."

"It's my gum."

"Can I have a piece?"

"I—Uh, sure. "

"Thanks."

"Why did we stop kissing?"

"I don't know. Let's keep doing that."

"Okay."

"Alright."

"Good." And then, "h-hey, that's my—"

"I know."

Jeff could feel Nick pushing on his shoulders, but he didn't know what Nick wanted. He let Nick guide him, and eventually, he was lying on the floor with Nick on top of him. He parted his lips again and let Nick dominate him, not really knowing how to take control. Kurt was always dominant, so he just let things happen.

After a few minutes of kissing, they were both dying for friction that neither of them wanted to initiate. Jeff moaned in frustration and rocked his hips up, and Nick responded by grinding their hips together. Jeff tipped his head back and smiled softly as Nick started kissing his neck, grazing over, biting, and licking all of his sensitive spots.

"That feels good."

"Does it?"

"Fuck yeah, it does."

"Dirty mouth."

"Shut up."

"Can do," and then there were hands all over his body and hands cupping his ass and hands groping him and pinching his nipples and just _everywhere._

"Please," Jeff moaned out, and Nick smirked.

"Please what?"

"Please something."

"Please something what?"

"Fuck me."

"We're in a closet."

"I don't care."

"We only have like two minutes."

"Let's go into a bedroom."

"Deal."

Nick and Jeff made great use of the remaining two minutes, sharing moans and whimpers with each other. At one point, Nick had bitten down on Jeff's earlobe, and Jeff had to hold back a really loud and embarrassing noise, because that was his sensitive spot. He wrapped himself completely around Nick and just let go, deciding that if he was carefree, the night would be more fun.

After two minutes had passed, Jeff could hear the bunny knocking on the door. He whimpered when Nick stood up, but smiled when Nick gave him his hand to help him stand. He followed Nick out of the room quickly, and gasped when Nick pushed him into a room and onto a bed. He smiled and propped himself up on his elbows, biting his lip.

"Want me to strip?" Nick asked, and Jeff shook his head.

"No, I just want you."

"Good decision." He watched as Nick bent over and then studied his ass very carefully, as if he needed to write a report on it.

"You have lube in your coat?" Jeff asked when Nick showed him the little pink and blue bottle. Nick just smiled and shut the lights off, then climbed on top of Jeff.

Jeff could very much feel Nick's hard-on, and he knew that Nick could feel his. But, Nick wasn't doing anything. He wasn't grinding, he wasn't taking off clothes, he wasn't kissing. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Nick whispered, and kissed Jeff's neck. "Just waiting on you, sweetheart." That sent shivers up Jeff's spine, and he blushed.

"In that case… Go ahead. Do what you want… Please."

"Your wish, my command."

If Jeff was lame, he would say that he felt sparks when Nick kissed him, or when Nick ground their hips together. But he wasn't lame, so he didn't say that. Or think it. Instead, he just let out a moan, to let Nick know that he was doing well. He heard a knock on the door, and whimpered, attaching himself to Nick. Nick, however, shrugged it off, and yelled "_Ocupado!_" to make the knocking stop.

"My hero," Jeff whispered with a small laugh, and Nick smiled. They shared a kiss or two, and then Nick started getting handsy again. Jeff let him. It didn't take long before Nick took Jeff's itchy polyester shirt off, and then the shorts as well. Jeff smiled, noticing Nick had left the tie on him. "D-Do you go to Dalton?" He gasped out.

"Now is not a time for small talk," Nick responded, and ran the pads of his thumbs over Jeff's nipples. "But no, I do not. I'm homeschooled. I take it you're a Dalton boy prep then?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't get sad. I think uniforms are way hot." He reached down and groped Jeff through his underwear, and Jeff let out a strangled whine. "Now let's get down to business, yeah?"

"Totally." Jeff ran his hands through Nick's hair and smiled. He took him by the shoulders and pulled him a bit closer, then trailed two fingers down his chest towards his abs. He moved his hands all over Nick's chest and stomach as Nick cupped him through his boxers. Finally, Jeff couldn't take the teasing anymore. "Why are you still wearing clothes?" Jeff asked, and pushed the bowtie off of Nick's neck after lazily untying it.

"Really good question." And then Nick was standing and taking his pants off, and Jeff was really happy about that part. Jeff kicked his boxers off and looked up at Nick, chewing on his bottom lip. "Fuck, you're hot," Nick said, and took his own boxers off too before climbing on top of Jeff again. "You wanna top?"

"No," Jeff murmured, and kissed Nick. He wrapped his leg around Nick's and tangled his fingers into the brunet locks belonging to the sex-on-legs on top of him. "You're teasing, Nick. Get in me."

"Needy," Nick smiled. Jeff beamed at him, and then scratched up Nick's back. "Oh. You can definitely do _that." _Jeff smirked and did it again, and then, in (an almost completely random) show of dominance, rolled them over and bit down on Nick's collarbone.

Jeff loved the moans he was hearing from Nick's mouth, but at the same time, they were driving him crazy. He wanted it, and he wanted it _bad. _He whimpered and started sucking a hickey on Nick's neck, grinding their hips together as he fumbled around blindly for the lube.

"You topping now?" Nick whispered, and Jeff shook his head.

"I wouldn't want to hurt that pretty ass of yours, now would I?" Jeff murmured in his ear. He finally grasped the bottle and put it in Nick's hand. "Go ahead," he murmured, and licked from Nick's earlobe to his pulse point. He bit down on the skin there, and then sucked on it for a bit. He kissed and then licked it to soothe it, and rolled off of Nick (who still wasn't stretching him, by the way). "Question."

"Answer."

"Why aren't your fingers in my ass?"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Nick."

"Okay, okay."

And then Nick was on top of him, unscrewing the cap off of the lube container, and Jeff was smirking. That smirk was wiped off of his face when Nick's slick fingers were rubbing over his hole. He whined and spread his legs, and tried his hardest to relax. It was just dawning on him that he was a virgin, and that it would probably hurt a lot. But he couldn't let himself care, because Nick was _so hot _and he was _so _horny.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, go ah-head."

"I don't have to."

"I want you to."

"You're nervous."

"You're Sherlock."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I want you to fuck me."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Good talk."

Jeff rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through Nick's hair. He shifted a bit when Nick (finally) eased his index finger inside him, and winced. "Ow."

"Want me to stop?"

"That won't make it hurt less."

Nick nodded in agreement and slid it in the rest of the way, and Jeff tried to focus on relaxing as much as he could. He ran his hands over Nick's back and feebly clawed at his shoulders. He dug his nails into the skin and moaned quietly, closing his eyes. It took quite a while for Jeff to get used to the intrusive object, and it took even longer to get used to _two. _He whined and let his mouth fall open, completely overwhelmed with all that he was feeling.

Nick's fingers were not long and slender like his were, but instead a bit shorter and wider, and that was hurting and stretching. But it was good hurting, for some reason. He was just wondering if Nick was ever gonna rub over the 'sweet spot' people always talk about (a.k.a., the _prostate, _it _does _have a name) when he _did. _And did that ever feel great.

Jeff moaned quietly and arched his back, and Nick looked up at him. "Am I hurting you?"

"Fucking do that again."

Nick did as he was told, and Jeff let out a louder whimper at the feeling. "Ngh."

After a few more minutes of Jeff whining, Nick pressing into his prostate, and Jeff whining even more, Nick finally started slicking himself up.

Jeff groaned and pushed his bangs away from his sweaty forehead. "You promise it's not gonna rip me in half?"

Nick chuckled and kissed Jeff's neck. "Pinky swear," he murmured. He wrapped his pinky around Jeff's, and Jeff smiled. Jeff studied Nick's face as he carefully lined himself up with Jeff's hole after removing his fingers. Jeff bit his lip and tried to brace himself for what was coming next, and he let out a strangled whine when Nick pushed into him. "It's just the tip," Nick whispered, and Jeff nodded.

It took him a few more moments of recollection, but finally, he gave Nick the okay, and then he was being filled. He hissed when it started hurting and told Nick to stop, so he could adjust, and sighed in relief when Nick listened. "C'mere," Jeff murmured lazily, and pulled Nick down so they could kiss. It was a bit of an awkward angle and Jeff had to sit up a little bit, but he didn't care because Nick's mouth tasted super awesome. He parted his lips and ran his hands through Nick's hair, and felt Nick stuffing some pillows behind his back. That helped so he didn't have to try and hold himself upright, and he sighed in relief.

Jeff cried out in surprise when Nick pushed himself inside of Jeff all the way, but quickly relaxed when Nick kissed him again. They kissed for a few minutes, just scoping out the insides of each other's mouths with their tongues. After a while, Nick slowly started to pull out of Jeff, then gently rocked his hips so he was sheathed inside Jeff again. He started a steady, smooth rhythm with his hips, so his thrusts weren't too hard.

Jeff couldn't help but let out a tiny moan each time Nick pulled out and filled him, and the noises that the brunet was making in return were _not _helping. He closed his eyes and relaxed, grabbing onto the bedposts behind him for support. He let his mouth fall open and his head fall back as he started making small noises each time Nick moved. This, apparently, drove the brunet nuts, because he started thrusting a bit harder and faster. Jeff moaned and clenched his fists around the bars.

"You like that?"

"Fuck yeah, I like that."

He could feel Nick's hands trailing all over his torso, and he shivered and clenched around Nick just a little, trying to keep from arching his whole body up.

"Want me to touch you?"

"You're already touching me."

"There's one place I'm not touching you."

"Oh—Oh, god, yes." And with that, Nick's hand was around his cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts, and Jeff was moaning like crazy. "F-Faster?" Jeff said, but his voice went higher at the end, making it sound like a question. Nick obliged, and both his hand and hips were going faster.

Jeff was sure that, if they were some sort of lame cheesy fictional couple, he'd be seeing stars. But it was real. It was so, _so _real. And it was so, so, _so _good. Nick was going fast enough that Jeff could hear Nick's skin slapping against his. It was a funny noise and he couldn't help but giggle, which got Nick to giggle as well.

He pushed his bangs from his face again and moaned when Nick started going just a bit harder, setting the final pace. Jeff knew that he was going to finish soon, there was no way he could hold off much longer without cumming. That's just the way things are. You get aroused, you have awesome sex, you cum. Sometimes, rinse and repeat. But they were at a party and other people probably wanted the bed to do the same thing they were doing.

"Nick… Fuck, I'm kinda sorta really close."

"Me too, Jeff."

"I want yo-you to cum first."

"This isn't a c-contest."

"It can be—fuck that feels so good."

Jeff was almost positive that Nick was going to open his mouth to say something else, because he heard something like "Je—" before Nick started cumming.

"Holy _shit,"_ Jeff whined. Holy shit was right. Nick was filling him and it was warm and probably really sticky, but it just felt really good, and the noises Nick was making were too much. Jeff tried to hold off so Nick could tell him to cum, but he just couldn't. His bottom lip twitched as he tried to say something, and then he was cumming too, all over Nick's hand. Some of it got on his chest and he turned his nose up at that, but most of it managed to stay in one spot.

"Christ," Nick muttered, and pulled out of Jeff. "That was… Fuck."

Jeff laughed, and nodded. He was too out of breath to even try to reply to him, so he hoped a nod would suffice. He watched, open-mouthed, as Nick licked his hand clean, and whined quietly when Nick licked his stomach clean. He slumped into the mattress and smiled when Nick snuggled in next to him. "We can't lay here forever," Jeff sighed finally.

"We can do what we want—this is my room."

"Oh… Awesome." And then, "nice Star Wars sheets, by the way."

"They're dirty now."

"Good."

"I have to clean them."

"I know. Do you want to do that right now?"

"Fuck no."

"Good."

"Good."

"You're really cute."

"You are too."

"Round two?"

"Round two."


End file.
